Forgivness
by Dubird
Summary: So what did happen after the series ended? This is my version of what might have happened, based on the anime, not the manga. *COMPLETE*
1. Part 1

Title: Forgiveness  
Author: Dubird  
Pairings: I guess a bit of MerylXVash, but it's not the focus of the story.  
Rating: PG-13 for some swearing  
Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun. This is just one of the many fan spawned writings of another crazy person. I also go to college and have lots of loans to pay off, so if you're looking for money, you've come to the wrong place!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Vash leaned against the outside wall of their little rented cottage, feeling the warmth of the stones seep through his shirt. He closed his eyes against the glare of the double suns, trying to capture a moment of peace. Before he had to go back inside and face him again. It was becoming harder to talk to Knives every day, trying to get him to open up and just listen for a change. Knives had hardly spoken since he had woken up, and most of the time he seemed to just tune the world out. Vash slid down the wall to sit on the still-cold ground, drawing his knees up in front of him and resting his forehead on them. 'If only he would talk to me,' he thought, wondering again what had happened to his brother.  
  
"Vash?" Meryl's voice floated out of the heat and he looked up, seeing her framed in the doorway. She paused as she spotted his newly acquired black eye. "What happened?"  
  
Vash shrugged, a little embarrassed. "Nothing much. Knives tried to climb out the back window last night. I'm not sure why."  
  
"And he hit you?"  
  
"Well, yeah. But I think that was my fault. When I grabbed his arm, he lost his balance and fell out of the window." Vash rubbed the back of his neck in a familiar gesture, trying for lightness of mood to keep her from worrying.  
  
Meryl just shook her head. "How long are you going to keep this up, anyways?"  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"This...keeping your brother up there. You're just going to keep him locked up for the rest of his life?"  
  
"Of course not!" Vash paused a moment, trying to find a good answer. "But I can't let him hurt anyone. And besides, you don't have to stay here."  
  
"Oh yes I do!" Meryl glared down at him, putting her hands on her hips. "Someone has to look after you. You seem to get into more trouble than anyone I know, and without even trying!"  
  
"I know. It's a real drag, isn't it?"  
  
"This isn't a laughing matter, Vash!" She knelt down next to him and placed her hand over one of his. "You can't keep this up. Sooner or later, something bad will happen and you'll be right back where you started. You'll kill yourself at this rate, and for what? For someone that used to be your brother?"  
  
Vash stood up, shaking off her hand. "You just don't understand. I can't let this alone, and don't ask me why I didn't just kill him. I can't. I won't."  
  
Meryl stood up as well, her gray eyes flashing with anger. "Maybe I understand better than you think. But you can't go on like this. It's making you miserable, and eventually he's going to get you killed. Think about that for a while!" She stormed back into the cottage, slamming the door behind her.   
  
Vash watched her go, a little startled by the intensity in her voice. She had spent half their acquaintance yelling at him, but this was different. 'What if she's right?' a small voice inside whispered to him. He leaned back against the wall again, closing his eyes. 'But what else can I do, Rem? What else should I do?' 


	2. Part 2

Title: Forgiveness  
Author: Dubird  
Pairings: I guess a bit of MerylXVash, but it's not the focus of the story.  
Rating: PG-13 for some swearing  
Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun. This is just one of the many fan spawned writings of another crazy person. I also go to college and have lots of loans to pay off, so if you're looking for money, you've come to the wrong place!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Meryl stormed down the hallway, slamming doors behind her. 'That pig-headed, spiky-haired idiot!' she fumed to herself. 'What the hell does he think he's going to accomplish anyway?' She stomped into the kitchen, almost running into Millie, who was occupied with making breakfast.  
  
"Good morning, senpai!" Millie chirped, happily stirring oatmeal and ignoring Meryl's scowl. "I was just about to take breakfast up to Mr. Knives." She pointed at the tray on the table, neatly laid with a bowl of oatmeal, silverware, napkins, and juice.  
  
"Never mind doing that, Millie," she replied. "I'll take His Highness's breakfast up to him!" Forgetting her fear of him in the heat of her anger, she grabbed the tray and marched out the door towards the stairs.  
  
"Senpai?" Millie watched her go, her face mirroring her confusion at this change of behavior, which Meryl ignored. Normally, she tended to avoid Knives, epically in the morning when she wasn't exactly in the most patient of moods. This morning, however, Meryl was simply angry. She headed upstairs to Knives's room and nudged the door open. The source of her anger was currently sitting propped up against the headboard looking out the window. She noticed that he was also sporting a black eye and looked rather disgruntled. She deposited the tray on his lap with a sniff. "Here. Eat." She backed away a couple of steps and crossed her arms over her chest. Knives looked down at the tray, then back up at her, his cold eyes boring into hers. Meryl shifted her feet slightly, a bit un-nerved by that look and masking it by scowling at him. "I didn't poison it, you know. If I wanted to kill you, I'd just shoot you."  
  
Knives raised an eyebrow at that, and looked at her, wondering why she was staying instead of just dropping his tray off and leaving. She didn't seem to want to linger around up here. "Was there something you wanted to ask me?" he said as mildly as he could, trying to keep his calm. For some reason, she always seemed to be able to stir his anger. A large part of that was the way she always seemed to pick on Vash, but that wasn't the only reason.  
  
Meryl just glared at him. "Actually, I do have a question for you. When are you going to grow up?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Just what I said. I'm assuming your being an ass is simply a phase you're going through and I wanted to know when you're going to get over it."  
  
His eyes narrowed and he glared back at her, barely able to keep any kind of calm. "You go to far," he said quietly, in that soft voice that always cowed those around him.  
  
"No, I don't think I go far enough!" she snapped. "Yes, you're some psychotic homicidal maniac, but you could at least try to understand what's going on around you. Hell, you could at least be polite! Being psychotic doesn't excuse you from good manners!"  
  
The corners of his mouth twitched slightly as if he was trying to keep from laughing at that, which only made Meryl madder. 'How DARE he laugh at me?' she thought to herself, ignoring the fact that she had made a rather silly remark.  
  
"My apologies then," he said mildly, suddenly amused by her attitude. Good manners? He could match manners with the most tutored scholar in existence. After all, that was one of the first things Rem had taught the both of them. 'No, you're not going to think about that. She was wrong, after all. No matter how much she tried to delude herself and Vash.' He glared back at Meryl, his momentary amusement disappearing. "However, I see no reason to be polite to you."  
  
"Why...you...!!" Meryl took a deep breath through her teeth to settle her thoughts. "I suppose it's because I'm human, right?" she asked rather sarcastically.  
  
"Actually, that is a part of it."  
  
She rolled her eyes at that. "Just because we don't have your abilities you think we're worthless. Well let me tell you something, Mr. High-and-Mighty. We've managed to survive on this God-forsaken backwater planet. And we've managed to do more than survive!"  
  
"Yes, with help."  
  
"Help? I suppose you're right. But from what I remember from my Earth history, we humans have lived just fine without any of your help for hundreds of years!" She dropped one hand to her hip, pointing one finger at him to get her point across. "And believe me, bub, we could've survived just fine on this planet without the help of your kind! Sure, more of us would have died, but we would have done it! Humans are survivors!"  
  
"So are cockroaches."  
  
Meryl had no idea what a cockroach was, but realized that she had just been insulted. "You better be glad you're injured! We may be cockroaches, whatever those are, but we certainly don't need your approval, you jackass!"  
  
The tray clattered to the floor as Knives stood up at that comment, his blue eyes flashing with anger. Meryl took an involuntary step backwards. 'Oh my God, I've just pissed off Millions Knives. What the hell is wrong with me??' 


	3. Part 3

AN: 1.7.03 - Added a little bit to make the story flow better. Hope it works out!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Title: Forgiveness  
Author: Dubird  
Pairings: I guess a bit of MerylXVash, but it's not the focus of the story.  
Rating: PG-13 for some swearing  
Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun. This is just one of the many fan spawned writings of another crazy person. I also go to college and have lots of loans to pay off, so if you're looking for money, you've come to the wrong place!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Vash paused outside his brother's door, listening to Meryl's ranting. He had heard her voice from outside, and wondered what in the world was going on. He knew she was afraid of Knives, though she'd never admit it. He still wasn't sure why she and Millie had stayed to help him care for his brother. After all, they did have jobs and other lives to attend to. Yet neither one seemed to be able to give him a good reason why they stayed. Millie had simply said that she wanted to help. That he could believe. To her, Knives was probably like a injured stray, albeit a very dangerous one. Meryl, however, he just couldn't figure out. Half the time he caught her looking at him oddly, though as soon as she realized he was looking, she started ranting about something. Then again, a part of him really didn't want them to leave, despite the danger. They were probably the only two people alive right now who understood what had happened. After all, they had been through most of this with him, had suffered along with him. He couldn't deny them the right to stay and see this through to the end, nor did he want to have to be alone anymore.  
  
He winced slightly as Meryl called Knives a jackass. 'Not your most tactful comment, Meryl,' he thought, pausing with his hand on the doorknob. He had almost entered after the crash of dishes, but something told him to stay put and listen.  
  
"Is that so?" Knives said, after a momentary pause. His voice was low and angry, as if he was struggling to keep from strangling her. "If that is the case, then why are you here?"  
  
"Well, I'm certainly not here for you," Meryl replied indignantly. "I'm here because of Vash. He needs someone to look after him, and that someone defiantly isn't you."  
  
"Everything I've done, I've done to protect him!" Knives's voice rose as he finally lost control over his temper. "I've looked out for him all our lives! I've tried telling him the truth, and he never listens. So I've been trying to show him!"  
  
"What truth? That humans are evil?"  
  
"Yes! I just don't understand why he completely refuses to believe me."  
  
"So you tried to show him by killing everyone he loves? By spending all that time hurting him, again and again?? By making him so miserable he can't even function at times?? And then, by trying to kill him when he refused to agree with you??" Meryl's voice had risen slightly with each sentence until she sounded as if she was ready to strangle him herself.  
  
There was a pause at that, as if Knives hadn't been expecting that comment. Vash pressed his ear to the door to try and hear what was going on.   
  
"What are you talking about?" he finally heard Knives ask, sounding a bit unsure of himself.  
  
"Did you ever stop to think that maybe you're wrong? Yeah, we're not perfect. But neither are you! We have our faults, and there's a great number of humans that won't win any good deeds contests. But there's a lot of great people out there. That's something you apparently don't understand."  
  
"No. That's not true." Knives's voice faltered a bit as replied. "You're just saying that because humans lie. I can't be wrong!"  
  
The resounding -smack- of flesh hitting flesh caused Vash to wince back from the door. "Will you just grow up?? You sound like a child! If you don't want to believe me, then fine. I don't care. But if you really love Vash, then just sit and think about what you're doing to him!"  
  
Another pause, a bit longer this time, followed by the creak of bedsprings as someone sat on the bed. Vash was about to open the door when his brother responded. "And why should you care, anyways?" he asked, sounding a bit sullen.  
  
"Because I love him, you moron! And I can't stand watching how miserable you make him! Now, I'm going to bring you another bowl of oatmeal, and you're going to eat it if I have to hog-tie you to that bed and force-feed it to you!" Before Vash could jump away from the door, Meryl had flung it open, dumping him unceremoniously on the floor. She glared down at him, her cheeks slightly pink. "What the hell do you think you're doing??"  
  
"Um....good morning?" Vash grinned up at her from the floor.  
  
"Oh, shut up, you idiot!" She stormed out of the room, swearing under her breath as she headed back downstairs. 'Men!' she thought to herself. 'One of the days, I'm just going to have to borrow Millie's stungun...' 


	4. Part 4

Title: Forgiveness  
Author: Dubird  
Pairings: I guess a bit of MerylXVash, but it's not the focus of the story.  
Rating: PG-13 for some swearing  
Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun. This is just one of the many fan spawned writings of another crazy person. I also go to college and have lots of loans to pay off, so if you're looking for money, you've come to the wrong place!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Vash picked himself up off the floor and looked over at Knives. His brother was sitting on the bed, arms around his knees, scowling out the window. He also had a red mark on his cheek that was about the size of Meryl's hand. "Didn't I tell you not to argue with her? Especially in the morning before breakfast?" he said mildly, shutting the door behind him and going to sit on the end of the bed. Knives turned his head to glare at him. Vash simply looked back at him calmly, waiting for him to say something. But Knives just turned his head away to stare out the window again.  
  
Vash sighed. While he hadn't expected Meryl to come up here and chew Knives out, and he certainly would've tried to stop her if he knew that was what she was going to do, he had hoped for a moment that she had shaken his brother out of his shell a little bit. He started to get back up when he felt a very tentative brush across his mind. His eyes widened in shock as he realized it was Knives. Vash sat very still, hardly daring to breathe. He hadn't felt that since they were very young. Maybe Meryl had shaken something loose after all.  
  
"Was she right, Vash?" Knives asked his question softly, still looking out the window.   
  
"Right about what?" he answered quietly.  
  
"About what she said about you. And me." Knives turned to look at him, his expression unchanged but with his eyes full of confusion.  
  
Vash paused a moment, trying to form an answer. He was afraid of what would happen to Knives if he said yes, but he didn't want to lie to him either. However, there was no need for him to answer. Knives nodded as if he had spoken. "I guess so." He laid his forehead down on his knees with a sigh. The tentative touch had withdrawn, along with Knives again. He laughed a bit after a moment. "I was so positive," he whispered, his arms tightening around his knees. Vash reached out his hand and paused, uncertain of what to do, afraid of saying something that would make Knives withdrawal further. He sighed softly, letting his hand drop to the covers. "That doesn't matter, Knives," he said, staring at the floor. "What's in the past is done and over with. People can change. Our futures are what we make of them. The past doesn't matter."  
  
He heard a rather bitter laugh at that. "You really think so?" Knives leaned back against the headboard and closed his eyes. "After all I've done to you, you'd just forget it?" He laughed again, a self-mocking laugh that chilled Vash. "I'm still not convinced you're right. After all, I spent a lot of time protecting you. I didn't want you to have to go through that like I did."  
  
"Go through what?" Vash looked up briefly, trying to figure out what was going on.  
  
"Never mind," he replied. "Rem was an exception after all, and that's who you knew. You saw the smiles of the rest of crew and didn't see further than that. I didn't want to destroy that."  
  
Vash shook his head and returned his gaze to the floor. "No, I did see the crew. They were scared of us, yes, especially at first. But most of them tried hard not to let what we were bother them. After a while, they accepted us. We may not have been valued crew members to everyone, but at least they accepted us."  
  
"Steve never did."  
  
"I don't know what his problem was. I think he just never lost his fear. Some humans are like that."  
  
"Oh, he lost his fear. He just always hated us." Knives winced a little, then shook his head. "Rem was the only one that really cared about us. Or, rather, cared about you."  
  
"She loved both of us." Vash sighed, a bit melancholy.  
  
"Then why didn't she stop what was going on?"  
  
"We never told her, did we?" Knives opened his eyes at that, but Vash was still staring at the floor. "After all, if we had told her the things Steve said, she would have found a way to stop him. In fact, any of the others would have at least told Rem about it. But we never said anything, so she didn't know."  
  
The two brothers sat quietly for a moment, each lost in private thoughts. The moment was broken when Vash heard Knives whisper. "You should have killed me out there." Vash looked up in stunned surprise. "Why do you say that?" he asked, a bit strained.   
  
"Because you can't trust me, right? Your friend is right about me." He paused and turned his head to look out the window again. "I've spent all this time, believing you were wrong. I still don't really know myself right now. I tried to protect you, and just failed miserably. Why should you let me live?"  
  
"Because you're my brother!" Without realizing what he was doing, Vash reached out and grabbed Knives's arm. He wasn't even sure he could get through to him anymore, but he had to try. He opened his mind and let Knives see what he felt, an act he hadn't tried in over a hundred years.  
  
Knives' eyes widened as he felt Vash's hand clamp down on his arm. An instant later, he felt his brother's mind, for the first time in a very long time. Inundated with emotions, he could only sit and try and make sense of what he was sensing.   
  
'So much pain!' He felt as if he couldn't breathe for a moment.  
  
'Yeah, there is pain.' Vash answered him. 'But there's so much more...' He focused on the good memories he had, of the friends he had made over the years, even the time spent traveling with Millie and Meryl. 'Yes, humans can be deceitful and cruel. But most of them aren't. Theirs is a world full of joy and sadness and pain and relief, and I wouldn't want to live without it.'  
  
Knives closed his eyes again as Vash released his arm, watching him apprehensively. He felt as if his entire world had suddenly shifted, and he wasn't sure he understood why. He drew his arms around his knees again, lowering his head to rest on them. He could feel Vash's uncertainty, but simply didn't know what to do. "Knives?" Vash spoke his name carefully, as if he didn't know what to do next himself. He felt tears suddenly slip down his cheek, and he fought silently to regain control. He had only cried one other time in his life, private tears he didn't want to burden his brother with, and he had sworn not to cry again. Yet, they continued to fall, almost of their own accord. He felt Vash's arms wrap around him, offering comfort, and he stopped fighting.  
  
Vash simply tightened his arms around his brother as Knives continued to cry. Somewhere, deep inside, he allowed himself to hope that things would turn out all right again.   
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
AN: That came out kinda sad, didn't it? I'm sorry! Ok, yeah, you're right, I'm not really sorry. After all, even if everyone can change, sometimes that change is going to be slow. And it has to have a starting point, right? Call this Knives' starting point, and leave it at that. :P  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


End file.
